Superbowl Afterthoughts

I was going to do a Superbowl Ad recap, but E.B.O.F. has done an admirable job already. My personal favourite was the Garmin Ultra-Man spoof. That's cos I hope to discover my Garmin holds the key to unlocking my ability to run around in Silver Tights and flash beams from somewhere near my crotch...Or not. But it was hilarious nevertheless. Anyways for the people who were not so fortunate to have been able to catch the game on TV (a far better preposition than to soak the 10+ inches of rain that fell in Miami that night), here's my recap of the game. Done Dota Style.

Manning: Okie, so this is for the nuts. -SB game. No leavers kk. GLHF all.
GAME STARTED...

About 1 second into the game...
Dungy: Vinatieri, wat u doing? Dun be so garang (brave)! No need to agro(aggressively aggravate) their special teams.
FIRST BLOOD(+50% Morale Boost)! DEVIN HESTER has just pawned the Colts Special Team for 7 points.
Dungy:... Nub (Newbie).

Apparently the Bears used that mojo they got from that kickoff return to power up their defense cos the Manning threw an interception on the very first Colts offensive series. However...

Manning: The plan is the bait them with Dallas Clark and Marvin Harrison, then when they engage us, Reggis Wayne will be sneaky and backstab their secondary.
Ball Snaps, Manning darts left and right...
WindWalk (Grants Invisibility) Activation Noise...
Bears Secondary: WTF, where did he come from?!?
Manning connects with a Wide Open Reggie Wayne to put 6 points on the board for the Colts.

For the extra point conversion,
Hunter Smith: Aiyah, I misclick. Instead of (G)ood Placement, I press (F)umble. Pai Seh (sorry) Vinatieri .
Manning:... OMG!! Potential ban...

So with the Bears leading 7-6 in the first, they attempt to run the ball (as they don't really ask that much from Grossman).

Thomas Jones: I got MoM (Grants increased speed). Just gimme the ball and watch me run.
Ball Snaps, Grossman hands Jones the ball and gets the hell out of the way. The Bear's offensive line parts a gap for Jones and then...
"OHHHHHHHH"(MoM's Activation Noise)...
Colts Linebackers & Secondary: Eh Jones, your -ms (checks movespeed) how much??!?!
Jones: -ms
Jones: 488 (fastest move speed is 512 522)

Jones would then run for 52 yards. Grossman made a 14 yard touchdown pass for another 7 points. The Bears would lead 14-6 at the end of the first quarter. In the second quarter, the momentum would start to swing towards the Colts as the Colts defense started to tighten up and the offense cranked it up to a higher gear. Vinatieri would kick a field goal and the Colts would run for another touchdown to bring the half-time score to 16-14 Colts. The half-time show of Prince was substituted for the Puppy Bowl (a television event that lasted for 3 hours) so I cannot really comment on the Artiste who has an Identity Crisis. In the third quarter, the Colts would make two more field goals, and the Bears would answer with one of their own to bring the score to 22-17 Colts into the fourth. Down 22-17, Grossman tries to play the hero...

Lovie Smith: Grossman, dun cross river alone. No need to try to hero. Sure will kenna (receive) gank (gang kill, i.e. outnumbered and killed by the enemy).

Grossman pays no heed and tries the high risk , high reward long play down the field. If the receiver catches the ball, the Bears would have gained about 30 yards and be in excellent field position to attack. Unfortunately...

Grossman: Okie, I will throw the ball down field to the right. Everyone come. We push into their territory.

Grossman's pass appears to be underthrown and the Colts secondary manages to get in between the intended receiver( Muhammad) and the ball. The result? An interception. Muhammad tries to tackle the interceptor (Hayden) out of bounds but Hayden activates his BKB (Grants immunity to most spells) and with a "KAZ MODAN!" breaks free of the tackle JUST before he steps out of bounds. The interception is returned 56 yards for a touchdown and the Colts lead 29-17. After the interception, the Bears were visibly deflated and the Colts were firmly in the driving seat.

(Allies)Manning:GG (Good Game) all.

At this point in time, the Bears get the ball back with about 10 minutes to play in the game. I have 100 dollars riding on a 29-23 final score. So I'm praying for divine intervention that the Bears can somehow score 6 more points. Alas, it was not to be. The combination of an inept Bears offense and a steady Colts offense ensure that 29-17 remained the final score. It was an exciting game in the first half and fairly entertaining for the 8 screaming guys gathered around the TV yesterday. So that ends my recap of Superbowl XLI. RM anyone?

SUPER BOWL XLI

It's SuperBowl weekend. Do you know where your 40 inch plasma Hi-Def TV is? Unfortunately, I don't. But still, nothing beats watching grown men smash themselves together over a pigskin ball together with some friends. And you guys have about 6 hours to make it so. So Just Do It.GO COLTS!

How Anal Can You Get?

Let's do a test. What does this picture remind you of?

A. A series of lights
B. An array of electronics that resemble an Adult Cartoon
C. A Bomb

If you choose A, you're probably not very familiar with American late night cartoons. If you choose B, you've probably watched the Milkshake, French Fry and Tomato Meatball (Kudos to E.B.O.F.) and uttered to yourself "WTF is up with that neighbour?" If you choose C, you've probably 1. A paranoid ignoramus who is culturally isolated from today's media 2. The Boston Attorney General. (You can probably guess which option I'd choose.)

Someone in that office apparently decided that the blinking lights were characteristic of a bomb and mobilized the entire city's police to defuse them. However, they failed to consider that said devices had adorned the city for at least a few days already and that other major cities had the same thing as well. Although in their defence, this appears to be a form of viral marketing, so not much information would have been available anyways.

And now, the AG is talking about suing the company behind Adult Swim (Turner) for restitution. That's right, I'm suing you for my stupidity (*Biatches* optional). Oh joy. The people who are supposed to serve the American public are just so atarded. It's a wonder that America is a superpower...

Totally unrelated but I WANT!! Who can resist rocket tits?